The Happy Quest: Where Do You Go for Happiness When You Are What You Seek?
What if the happiness you're desperately seeking in relationships, jobs, and possessions has been inside you all along? In a transformative episode of the Permission podcast, licensed psychologist Dr. T Reyes and intuitive artist Silvana explore the "Happy Quest" – revealing why external searches for happiness feel like chasing your own tail and how to discover the greatest love affair of your life: the one with yourself.
The External Happiness Trap: Why We Look Outside Ourselves
The Permission podcast hosts identify a crucial pattern in mental health: most people focus on external sources for happiness. Whether it's romantic relationships, career success, or material possessions, we've been conditioned to believe happiness comes from outside ourselves.
Common external happiness sources:
Romantic relationships ("If I find the right person, I'll be happy")
Career achievements ("If I get this job, I'll be fulfilled")
Material possessions ("If I buy this, I'll feel complete")
Social validation ("If people approve of me, I'll be satisfied")
As Dr. T observes from her therapy practice: "People come to me looking for happy. They think there are people out there that are happy and they want to join the happy people." But here's the revolutionary insight: those "happy people" aren't outsourcing their joy.
Silvana's Whitney Houston Epiphany: The Greatest Love Affair
Silvana shares a profound spiritual experience that illustrates internal happiness perfectly. Waking up with Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All" playing in her head, she had what can only be described as a joy-gasm:
"I swear I felt so happy, like when you're truly in love and you feel like you can freaking levitate. I had fucking butterflies and everything and I'm like, holy shit, I love myself so much."
This wasn't just a feel-good moment – it was a complete reorientation toward internal happiness. "That's my happy quest," Silvana explains. "The greatest love of all is the one you have for yourself."
The Daily Practice of Self-Love
Silvana's happiness routine includes:
Looking in the mirror and seeing her own beauty and perfection
Hugging herself upon waking
Daily self-love affirmations
Recognizing there are always things to improve while loving herself completely
Dr. T's "I Am What I Seek" Revelation
Dr. T shares a meditation practice that ended with the powerful phrase: "I am what I seek." This insight, which still gives her chills, represents a fundamental shift in understanding happiness and fulfillment.
The psychological insight: When we search externally for happiness, we're actually looking for parts of ourselves reflected in others, jobs, or experiences. As channeler Sarah Braxman Cosme noted, "We're all just looking for ourselves."
The Relationship Mirror
This principle explains why external relationships often disappoint. Dr. T reflects on being a "shit partner" – not because she was mean or abusive, but because she wasn't being genuinely herself:
Not taking up space authentically
Not sharing her true self
Pretending to be what she thought her partner wanted
"I wasn't present... I wasn't being genuinely me"
The mental health lesson: When you're not authentic in relationships, you rob others of the opportunity to love the real you, creating a cycle of dissatisfaction and "not enough" feelings.
The Consciousness Factor: Why External Seeking Fails
Dr. T's New York Theory
Dr. T presents a fascinating theory about consciousness and environment: "People that want to be unconscious cannot tolerate being in New York" because the city's constant changes require moment-to-moment awareness and decision-making.
This connects to happiness because unconsciousness prevents joy. When we're not present, we miss the very moments where happiness naturally arises.
The Avoidance Culture
Modern society provides endless opportunities to avoid being present with ourselves:
Social media doom scrolling
Constant external stimulation
Relationship dependency
Material acquisition as distraction
The result: We become experts at avoiding the very inner space where happiness actually lives.
Time, Spirituality, and Internal Happiness
When Happiness Happens
Dr. T offers a crucial insight about timing and mental states:
Happiness happens NOW (present moment)
Sadness happens in the past (grieving, regret)
Anxiety happens in the future (worry, anticipation)
"I feel like [happiness] can't happen outside of time," Dr. T explains, emphasizing that joy is always a present-moment experience.
Silvana's Non-Linear Time Perspective
Silvana adds depth with her understanding that "time is not linear" – suggesting that happiness, like all experiences, exists simultaneously across what we call past, present, and future. This perspective removes the pressure to "achieve" happiness and recognizes it as always available now.
The Power Outsourcing Problem
Religion and External Authority
The hosts explore how seeking happiness externally often involves giving away personal power. Whether through religious institutions, relationships, or societal expectations, outsourcing our happiness creates dependency.
Dr. T's experience: Religion provided a starting point but ultimately required outgrowing to find authentic spiritual connection and personal authority.
Silvana's perspective: "I am bigger than an institution or religion" – maintaining direct connection to the Creator while honoring her own spiritual authority.
Breaking Dependency Patterns
"Dependency is the root of all evil, sadness, unhappiness," Silvana explains. When we give others power over our emotional state:
We become victims of their moods and choices
Our happiness becomes conditional and unstable
We lose connection to our internal compass
Recovery becomes impossible when they leave
Practical Applications: Your Internal Happy Quest
The Daily Self-Love Practice
Silvana's Method:
Morning mirror work with genuine appreciation
Self-hugging and physical affection
Daily "I love myself" affirmations
Gratitude for receiving spiritual messages
The "I Am What I Seek" Meditation
Dr. T's Approach:
Regular meditation ending with "I am what I seek"
Conscious present-moment awareness
Recognition that external desires reflect internal qualities
Trust in internal guidance and decision-making
Breaking External Dependency
Practical Steps:
Notice when you're seeking external validation
Ask: "What am I looking for in this person/situation that I already have?"
Practice making decisions from internal guidance rather than others' opinions
Develop tolerance for being alone with yourself
Create space for self-reflection and processing
The Mental Health Revolution: From Seeking to Being
The Permission podcast hosts present a radical mental health proposition: stop seeking happiness and start being the happiness you seek. This isn't about positive thinking or denial – it's about recognizing that:
You already contain everything you're looking for
External sources can enhance but never create your happiness
Authenticity in relationships creates genuine connection
Present-moment awareness is where joy naturally arises
Self-love isn't selfish – it's the foundation for all other love
The Joy-Gasm Indicator
Silvana's joy-gasm experience provides a benchmark for internal happiness: when you connect with genuine self-love, the feeling is unmistakable – "like the most love you ever felt for someone or even lust... it started in my chest and just freaking expanded everywhere."
Your Permission to Stop Seeking
The final invitation from the Permission podcast: What if you just stopped trying so hard to find happiness and instead surrendered to your divine path? "Go with the flow... just be you. Let it go."
This isn't passive resignation but active trust in your internal guidance system. When you stop swimming against the current of external seeking, you discover the happiness that was always flowing within you.
Ready to begin your internal happy quest? Listen to this transformative episode of the Permission podcast where Dr. T Reyes and Silvana guide you from external seeking to internal being. Because the truth is: you are what you seek, and the greatest love affair of your life is waiting in the mirror.
Stop chasing your tail. Start loving yourself. The happiness you seek is seeking you from within.