The Meaning in You: How to Stop Outsourcing Significance and Start Choosing Your Story
Episode 5 of Permission with licensed psychologist Dr. T Reyes and intuitive artist Silvana
What if life doesn’t come pre-labeled? What if every moment arrives blank, and you write the caption?
In this conversation, Dr. T and Silvana explore a liberating idea popularized by Bashar: the world is inherently meaningless—until we give it meaning. That’s not nihilism; it’s agency. If meaning lives in you, then you can choose interpretations that heal, grow, and align you.
The Bashar Frame: Life Arrives Blank
“The world is meaningless, and each of us puts the meaning into things.”
Silvana shares how adopting this frame transformed her daily life. Delays, traffic, petty annoyances—she now meets them with a quiet question: What’s the gift here? Maybe she’ll never know why a detour happened, but she chooses a life-giving interpretation anyway. The practice isn’t delusion; it’s discipline.
Try this: When something “goes wrong,” ask, What am I learning? How could this be protecting or redirecting me?
Desire Without Drama: Let Feeling Be Enough
Crushes and new love can feel like emotional whiplash—especially when attachment is complicated. Silvana reflects on years of falling for people who weren’t straightforwardly available and the confusion of trying to “make sense” of it all.
Dr. T offers a simple, grounding distinction:
Feeling is the internal experience (desire, anger, joy).
Acting out is the behavior that follows (texting at 2 a.m., picking a fight, chasing).
“The feeling, in and of itself, is enough.”
Let the energy of desire remind you you’re alive. Express it consciously—or not at all. But don’t outsource your worth to someone else’s response.
Stop Borrowing Signs: Claim Your Permission
We love omens. A spilled coffee becomes “don’t sign the contract.” A missed train becomes “don’t go.” Dr. T and Silvana call this what it often is: superstition dressed in spiritual language.
Yes, intuition is real. But there’s a difference between inner guidance and fear wearing a robe. If you need a “sign,” consider this: you are the permission slip. Choose—and then choose the meaning that supports your choice.
The Language You Live In
Words aren’t neutral. They program your nervous system.
Silvana refuses to narrate lack: “I need money, I need help, I need love.” Why? Because “need” locks you in a state of needing. She practices abundant language instead:
“I’m opening to abundance.”
“Opportunities flow toward me.”
“I’m already resourced.”
“Every time you speak, you’re throwing something out there—and you’re supported in it.”
Choose sentences you want the universe to echo.
Curiosity Is a Superpower: “What Else Could This Mean?”
Meaning isn’t a one-time stamp; it can evolve as you do. Dr. T shares a practical example: when an insurance reimbursement arrived made out to her company (Pivot Psychological Services) and she couldn’t deposit it into her personal account, her first thought was, Uh-oh, money stuff. Her second thought—made on purpose—was, What else could this mean?
Answer: It was time to open a business checking account. She did it the same day. The “problem” became momentum.
Reframe loop:
Name your first meaning.
Ask: What else could this mean—if this were happening for me?
Pick the meaning that creates movement.
Family, Judgment, and the Bigger Picture
Silvana remembers being judged by religious relatives for having her first child before a church wedding. The old meaning: I made a mistake. The chosen meaning: “My son is the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.”
She didn’t fight or sever bonds. She simply refused to accept labels that weren’t hers.
Boundary mantra: What’s yours is yours; what’s mine is mine. I can love you without adopting your doctrine.
Pain vs. Suffering (A Teaser)
Many spiritual traditions distinguish inevitable pain from optional suffering (the story we build around pain). Dr. T notes that some people don’t choose suffering so much as can’t yet imagine an alternative meaning. The invitation isn’t to bypass grief; it’s to notice when your narrative keeps you from healing that wants to reach you.
On Grief
Different cultures see death as an ending or a beginning. If you view passing as transition, your meaning shifts from only pain to connection, celebration, and continuity. Meaning changes the felt experience—without denying loss.
Five Daily Practices to Choose Meaning (On Purpose)
Micro-Reframes: When something irritates you, add “and that’s okay.”
“I missed the train—and that’s okay. Maybe that protects me or redirects me.”Abundance Language Audit: Replace “I need” with “I’m allowing / I’m opening to.”
Say it out loud. Your body listens.Feeling vs. Acting: Before you act, name the feeling.
“I feel lonely.” Then decide how to express it with care.The “What Else?” Question: Generate at least two additional meanings for any sticky event. Choose the one that creates courage.
Big-Picture Check: Ask, Is this mine to carry? If not, return it—silently and lovingly.
Your Permission Slip
Meaning isn’t something you hunt for—it’s something you author. When you choose interpretations that elevate, you’re not faking positivity; you’re exercising responsibility.
You are the place where meaning happens.
You can let feelings be enough—and act with integrity.
You can speak a language that calls in what you want.
You can pick curiosity over collapse.
You can love people without agreeing with their labels.
Stop outsourcing your story. Start choosing your meaning. With your permission, that can start right now.