When Is Enough Enough? Mental Health and Self-Worth
What if the secret to mental wellness isn't about achieving more, but about recognizing you already have enough? Licensed psychologist Dr. T Reyes tackles this profound question in the Permission podcast, sharing how the concept of "enough" revolutionized her approach to mental health, relationships, and personal success.
The Billionaire Question: Redefining Enough for Mental Health
Dr. T's exploration of "enough" began with a powerful story: when someone mentioned a billionaire entering a room, a podcaster responded, "I have something they don't – enough." This mic-drop moment sparked a deeper investigation into how our relationship with "enough" impacts our mental health and overall life satisfaction.
The core question: How do you define enough in your life? And more importantly, when did you last feel like you weren't enough?
Dr. T's Marriage Story: When Mental Health Suffers from "Not Enough"
In a vulnerable revelation, Dr. T shares how her 11.5-year marriage to Anna became a case study in feeling perpetually inadequate. "I was in this constant perpetual state of not being enough," she explains, describing how she tried to fill what she now recognizes was an unfillable void in her partner.
The Mental Health Impact of Relationship Dynamics
Dr. T's experience illustrates a common mental health challenge: when we absorb someone else's emptiness and make it about our inadequacy. This dynamic creates:
Chronic self-doubt and anxiety
People-pleasing behaviors that drain authentic self-expression
Loss of personal identity in relationships
Decreased self-worth despite external achievements
The breakthrough came after her divorce when Dr. T had space to reconnect with a truth she'd known since her twenties: "I've always been enough."
The Mirror Moments: Mental Health Breakthroughs
Both Dr. T and Silvana reference pivotal "mirror moments" that shifted their relationship with self-worth:
Dr. T's UConn Revelation
At 20, looking in her family's tiny bathroom mirror, Dr. T realized: "No one is going to care unless I care. I have to make a decision to put myself first and view myself in a certain way."
Silvana's Daily Practice
Silvana maintains mental wellness through a simple but powerful routine: "I am who I am and that is enough" - repeated three times each morning and night.
The Psychology of Enough: Different Categories for Mental Health
Dr. T identifies that "enough" must be operationalized across different life domains:
Material Enough
Financial security vs. endless accumulation
External success markers (suits, offices, apartments)
Recognition that material "enough" is often about feeling states, not actual amounts
Emotional Enough
Self-worth independent of others' opinions
Internal validation vs. external approval seeking
Silvana's insight: "I've never been in a situation where somebody made me feel like you need to be more than who you are for me to be happy"
Spiritual/Existential Enough
Present-moment satisfaction
Connection with nature and purpose
Recognition of inherent completeness
Success Redefined: Mental Health Through Internal Compass
Dr. T's Professional Success Metrics
Licensed psychologist with NYC practice
Home and office near Bryant Park
700+ square feet in Hell's Kitchen
Key insight: "I'm successful where I stand, but that doesn't mean I [lack] drive, motivation, goals"
Silvana's Success Through Connection
Growing vegetables and eating from her garden
Watching her sons develop into "wonderful boys"
Artistic creativity and problem-solving abilities
Core principle: Success as harmony with natural cycles and relationships
The Mental Health Benefits of "Enough" Thinking
Reduced Anxiety and Comparison
When you recognize you have enough and are enough, the constant comparison that fuels anxiety diminishes. Dr. T notes she rarely experiences guilt anymore because she doesn't perceive her actions as fundamentally erroneous.
Enhanced Relationship Quality
Dr. T takes pride in how she navigates relationships now, marking it as a different type of success. "I feel a lot of pride with that" - referring to improved family connections and collaborative projects.
Authentic Self-Expression
Silvana's lifelong sense of being enough allowed her to maintain authenticity even when facing racism: "This is not about me, it's them." This demonstrates how "enough" thinking protects mental health from external negativity.
Practical Applications: Implementing "Enough" for Mental Wellness
Daily Affirmation Practice
Follow Silvana's model:
Morning: "I am who I am and that is enough" (3x)
Evening: "I am who I am and that is enough" (3x)
Success Redefinition Exercise
List your current external success markers
Identify how these make you feel
Recognize: "I'm successful where I stand"
Maintain goals without attachment to worthiness
Relationship Boundary Setting
Recognize when you're trying to fill someone else's void
Practice Dr. T's realization: you can't fix others' emptiness
Value your intuition and internal guidance system
The Cultural Challenge: Mental Health in an "Never Enough" Society
Dr. T and Silvana's immigrant experience adds depth to their "enough" philosophy. Growing up with eight people sharing one bathroom, taking on adult responsibilities as teenagers, and facing discrimination could have created "not enough" narratives.
Instead, they developed resilience through:
Present-moment focus rather than dwelling on hardships
Gratitude for family closeness created through shared challenges
Recognition that difficult experiences were "perfect" preparation for who they became
The Internal Compass: Your Mental Health Navigation System
Dr. T's closing insight: "Everything I desire or everything I think I need – everything is all inside me. All the answers are inside me because I'm the maker of how I feel, how I think, how I put meaning into everything."
This represents a fundamental shift from external validation to internal authority – a cornerstone of mental wellness.
The Desire Paradox
"The desire is enough as well," Silvana adds. This profound insight suggests that wanting something doesn't indicate lack – it indicates aliveness and engagement with life's possibilities.
Mental Health Takeaways: Living from Enough
Recognize your inherent completeness independent of achievements or relationships
Practice daily "enough" affirmations to retrain thought patterns
Identify your personal success metrics beyond societal standards
Trust your internal compass rather than external validation
Understand that desires don't indicate inadequacy but engagement with life
Ready to explore your own relationship with "enough"? Listen to this transformative episode of the Permission podcast featuring Dr. T Reyes and Silvana. Discover how shifting from "not enough" to "already enough" can revolutionize your mental health and life satisfaction.
Because the truth is: you don't need to earn your worth, achieve your value, or prove your enough-ness. You just need permission to recognize what was always true – you are enough, exactly as you are, right now.